Pardon Me?
by violetbutterfly
Summary: A Maurauders era fic. When Lily finds out that Sirius is cheating on her best friend Mem she is furious. But who is he cheating with? And is it possibly the one person Lily wants for herself? Mucho shipping and a little slash later on. A fun story!
1. You Prat

**Didn't Catch That?**

**A/N My first fanfic! I promise that it can only get better from here on out :**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any other characters…except Mem. And Maria. **

"I don't know how many more days of this I can bloody well take," said James, gesturing wildly across the room.

"Ah. Would 'this' be the girls on the grounds, the weather or Sirius occupying your bed?"

"Yes," James replied sullenly and collapsed in a spread eagle in the centre of the room.

Remus peered over the edge of his essay to look at him, "Whatever did you do this time to illicit such evil looks from our usually charming and flirtatious neighbors?"

"Yes! Our neighbors James! The entire bloody 5th year girls! As in the people we have to live with, and ask out on dates and such! You bloody prat!" Sirius fumed, lifting the pillow he had been holding to his face long enough to berate his errant friend properly.

"I don't like it either you know! And you're exaggerating. It's not the whole year. Just, you know, a few of the…er…less boy-obsessed ones."

"Tell us what happened and quit stalling you loser," whined Peter from his precarious window-side perch.

"Well…" James began, looking a bit sheepish, but soldiering on at a wave from Sirius' angry hand," I just…you know…raced her. With my broom. And she won. But she thought I would lose…which is bloody egotistical if you ask me. I mean really. I am obviously the best Quidditch player in the school. If not all of England," at this Remus cast his eyes down at his essay once more unable to control his twitching mouth. "So of course I wanted to comfort her. I mean because I am chivalrous and whatnot. And so I told her that men always did better than women in physical displays of strength and she shouldn't feel bad that she just happened to be part of the weaker sex."

"Well…wasn't that…nice…of you," Remus managed, still twitching.

"Are you laughing! Are you sniggering Remus! Because this is _not funny_! Mem won't even talk to me," Sirius exploded, the pillow ceasing to restrain him from his erratic behaviour. "James you better--you better--by the time I get back--gah!" With this he stormed out of the common room, the effects of his mood manifesting themselves in angry yells that could be heard for several more minutes.

"Reeeemuuuuus! What am I going to do?" James moaned, rolling over onto his stomach on the much scorched rug that bore testament to previous escapades.

"Roses are nice," speculated Peter. Remus and James gave him a _look_. "Okay then. No roses."

"Oh James. Get over yourself. Leave her alone and she'll have forgotten by the time we come back form holiday. Only two more weeks left and about 10 more essays due. You have much to occupy yourself with."

James made an atrocious face but pulled out his blank parchment and dry quill. Sighing loudly and obnoxiously, he began a particularly uninteresting History of Magic essay.

**A/N So if this was not too horrid to stomach please review! Mucho amore!**


	2. Trunks, Girls, and DiaryJournals

**A/N Sorry my last chapter was so short, but hopefully this one will turn out better and longer!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. Because if wishes were horses beggars would ride :**

"I don't think I will ever be able to forget or forgive. I mean I know that he's just this annoying prat that isn't particularly bright or anything, but really. Don't people even understand what tact _is _anymore? I mean it was just so—"

"Disgusting and egotistical? Yes. I quite agree," Maria offered reaching down to twitch her robes out of the lake. Lily and Mem were seated in one of the many trees ringing the lake.

"Well it's worse for some of us you know! At least your _boyfriend_ isn't one of those mindless sheep!" Mem exclaimed, throwing up her hands, still holding a midnight quill and essay-in-progress.

"Sirius isn't so bad. And Remus and Peter aren't really either. It's just James! He's horrid!" Lily concluded.

"Well with surefire arguments and steel-tough proof like that, who could disagree with you Madam Juliet?" smirked Maria, and looking at Lily through the corners of her eyes to judge her reaction, which was satisfactory. Lily opened her mouth to retort but could think of no insults fit to put Maria in her place so she opted for the not-so-well-tread path of not saying anything at all. "I mean, the reason Romeo and Juliet couldn't get together was their opposing families and the reason you two aren't together is your opposing feelings!" said Maria, always analytical, even when she teased.

"Gah! Here comes Sirius!" Mem screeched. "Should I just look the other way and ignore him or go with the actively aggressive route where I glare at him unapprovingly?"

"Errrr…" both Maria and Lily intoned, trying not to laugh outright about their overly dramatic friend's antics. "Well Mem. There's only two weeks of term left. It really doesn't matter. We'll just start over next year. I'm sure he'd appreciate some forgiveness however. Your decision. Entirely yours," Lily advised.

"Well then I suppose I should just go talk to him and get an apology."

"NO! See that would be the _wrong_ decision. The _right_ decision would be to ignore him until school starts," Mem raised an eyebrow at this change in direction.

"Ahem…anyway…let's go eat," Lily complained, jumping off the tree limb and throwing her stuff into a beige canvas bag and tugging on Maria's hand in vain.

"But it's niiice outside," the two girls whined.

"Maybe. But the food is niiiice inside," Lily grinned as Maria and Mem began to move towards the castle despite their complaints. "And maybe while we're in there Maria and I can spy two men to challenge James and Sirius' patheticness."

"Ha!" Mem exclaimed and swatted Lily on the arm. "You will find no such man I assure you," she said slightly smiling and walking towards the hall as Maria and Lily followed giggling.

The train platform was slippery with rain, as was common in London (and all of England actually), and the sixth years struggled to gain purchase on its surface. Much to the Marauder's enjoyment more than one student lost their footing on the slick pavement, taking a nasty fall. The four rattled around in the growing confusion around them. Sirius lifted his trunk with considerable effort, hoisting it atop the similar trunk before him.

"Oy! Get that trunk off of me you prat!" yelled a messy-haired boy. "You pack like a female!"

Sirius grinned evilly,"Oh quite sorry mate. It appears that Moony needs some assistance…eh…doing something—argh!" Sirius faltered as he looked over at Remus who did indeed need assistance in Sirius' opinion. Assistance in removing himself from a certain...girl.

"What! What!" James asked attempting to peer around the mountain of trunks in his arms comically.

"Oh...er…just a minor…eh…glitch. Got to go sort this out," with which Sirius disappeared into the crowd, heading for the train. James turned to Peter for sympathy and encouragement but he found himself to be alone.

"Bugger," and James set off toward the train compartment walking in an extremely awkward and amusing style.

**Sirius Black's Confidante**

(It's actually a diary! Ooooh!)

(No it's not Prongs! Get out of my journal you bloody poofter!)

(You hurt me Sirius. You really hurt me.)

(Not as badly as you hurt my _just purchased_ new pointy hat!)

(Oh yeaaaaahh…I'm leaving…I'm leaving. Keep your pants on.)

Pants eh? Well I did indeed have my pants on today when we left in the morning. _As well_ _as_ my socks. But it was all knocked off with what mine eyes were witness to…Let's start at the beginning…

(A very good place to start! When you read you begin with A. B. C. When you sing you begin with doaaaaarggggghhhhhh!)

(Damnit James! You must stay out of my journal even when I am taking a brief recess to avail myself of the eating facilities. Next time you will _not _live to tell the tale my friend! Comprendo?)

(Si Senora.)

(Shut up.)

(Fine.)

8:00 am. What time does the train leave the station! Wait. Train leaves at 11:00.

Or possibly 1:00.

Or maybe 2:00.

Not a problem. James will know.

8:45 am. I guess James does not know. As he hasn't even packed yet. Isn't this lovely?

9:30 am. Breathe. In. And out. In. And out.

In less than 1 ½ hours (or possibly 3 ½ or maybe 4 ½) I will be seeing Mem. And I feel perfectly calm about this. Yes. I do.

Yep calm.

Bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody---

Breathe.

In.

And AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!

10:30 am. Damn owl. Practically attacked me. The train does indeed leave at 11:00 as Remus informed me by way of terrifying owl attackee. Or is it attacker?

Dear Lord. Deliver me from myself.

**A/N And in the next chapter we shall find out what exactly happened at the train station with Remus! Ooooh…. :**


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